The Story of Tommy Raskin Proofs Suicide Prevention Requires Professional Help

On the last day of December 2020, 25-year-old Harvard law student Thomas Raskin died by suicide. He left a short note for his family, which read: “Please forgive me. My illness won today. Please look after each other, the animals, and the global poor for me. All my love, Tommy.”

Tommy Raskin, who grew up in Takoma Park, lost his life to depression on Dec. 31, 2020. He was a graduate of Amherst College and was attending Harvard Law School at the time of his death. He was a poet, an enthusiastic Boggle player, a vegan, a political person who cared about every person and animal in the world.

Memorial Service and Celebration of the Life of Tommy Raskin

Tommy Raskin, who died of suicide at the age of 25, was remembered by family, friends, and thousands of others gathered at RFK Stadium in Washington, D.C., or watching virtually on YouTube.

The idea for the drive-in memorial arose when Tommy’s sister, Tabitha, said she felt cheated that due to COVID-19, she could not hug those who shared her grief and missed out on in-person, comforting Shivah, the Jewish mourning ritual.

Funny, sensitive, kind, good, gentle, illuminary, authentic, and positive were just some of the many attributes cited. Arlene Bloom said her grandson was “caring, devoted.”

“He really, really cared about what you said,” said friend Sophie Clark. Another friend, Tom Agger, said, “Sometimes I would look at him and say that’s what I want to be when I grow up, which is such a crazy thing for someone his [same] age to say.” Yet another friend called him “the Michael Jordan of our generation.”

Some admitted to losing “too many” Boggle games, and one friend estimated that she had lost 60 to 80 games over a nine-month period. Yet another friend acknowledged that she had lost “every single game.“

Scattered throughout the celebration of his life were videos featuring Raskin reciting two of his poems and intense interaction with a college professor.

His mother described an eight-hour road trip in which her son in college challenged a Libertarian professor to a debate, wrote his side of the issue, submitted it to a peer-review publication, and heard back from the professor two times.

During the ceremony, guitar players sang “Hallelujah,” Bob Dylan’s “You’re Going to Make Me Miss You When You Go,” Dar Williams performed two of her songs, including “I Had No Right” about Maryland’s Daniel Berrigan.

Tommy’s father was the last to speak. The Congressman praised his son, calling him an “independent thinker” from a very young age who always displayed “dazzling courage and poise.” He made sure his entire class was invited to his fourth birthday party, changed his lunch partners regularly at Eastern Middle School in Silver School so that he wouldn’t just sit with students in the magnet program, and held a dinner for a group of Montgomery Blair High School students so they could all enjoy the prom together, even if they had no date.

Often fighting back the tears, Raskin said he never again will believe that everything will get better in the end. He has lost his sense of happiness ever after.

His broken-hearted parents, Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-Md., and Sarah Bloom Raskin, memorialized Tommy in a lengthy post on Medium, introducing many of us to their brilliant and much-loved son. Tommy “had a perfect heart, a perfect soul, a riotously outrageous and relentless sense of humor, and a dazzling radiant mind,” they wrote. He also had a secret, which ultimately took his life.

At the end of the statement, the Raskins named the disease that killed their son. His depression was “a kind of relentless torture in the brain for him, and despite very fine doctors and a loving family … the pain became overwhelming and unyielding and unbearable at last.”

Tommy, as his father Jamie Raskin calls him, was also tormented by depression. Tommy Raskin took his own life on Dec. 31

“Tommy was remarkable from the beginning,” Jamie Raskin tells NPR’s Scott Simon. “He had a photographic memory and, like some other kids in our family, knew all the presidents and vice presidents in order. But it wasn’t his mind that marked him as so extraordinary. It was his heart. The stories of his love and compassion are absolutely astounding.“

Misunderstanding depression

The disease of suicides in this country, which took nearly 50,000 Americans in 2018. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, the annual suicide rate increased 35% from 1999 through 2018, with the suicide rate among men nearly four times higher than women.

Because of the stigma surrounding suicide, many researchers say these numbers are underreported.

The family of Tommy Raskin continued to show courage when, the day after Raskin buried his son, the grieving father found himself caught in the Trump-fueled insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, where the Congressman was present because he believed it was his duty to count the electoral votes and confirm Joe Biden’s presidential victory.

Many Factors Can Cause Depression

The causes of depression are not entirely understood, but it is believed that the best explanation for it is that it is probably caused a combination of factors, such as an underlying genetic tendency towards the condition and certain environmental factors that can act as triggers.

Having a parent and grandparent with depression increases the risk of depression,1 suggesting that genetics plays a big role. The rates of depression are also higher among those who have a history of substance use. Other factors linked to depression include brain chemistry imbalances, hormones, seasonal changes, stress, and trauma.

Brain Chemistry Imbalances

Depression has been linked to an imbalance in the neurotransmitters that impact mood regulation. This includes dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. The theory is that having too much or too little of these neurotransmitters can cause (or contribute to) depression. 

Hormones

Any flux in the production or function of hormones—for example, pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, or thyroid issues—could contribute to depression.

Seasonal Changes

Major depressive disorder with seasonal patterns (seasonal affective disorder) is triggered by disruptions in the body’s circadian rhythm. A change in seasons can also disrupt sleep, which can contribute to a depressed mood. 

Stress and Trauma

The loss of a loved one, trauma and abuse, chronic stress, and big life changes (such as a divorce or losing a job) can trigger depression. Researchers blame this on the high levels of the hormone cortisol that are secreted during these stressful, traumatic times.

Cortisol affects the neurotransmitter serotonin and can trigger depression.

Untreated Depression Is a Common Cause of Suicide

The proper diagnosis and treatment of depression are essential in preventing suicides. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 45% of those who commit suicide have some sort of mental illness. And this includes people with undiagnosed, untreated, or under-treated depression.

It’s not that Tommy was alone — he had an army of family and friends who loved him dearly. The Raskins said their son had been “enveloped in the love not only of his bedazzled and starstruck parents but of his remarkable and adoring sisters.”

Alas, not even that was enough to prevent his death.

Depression Is Treatable

There are several very effective treatment options available for depression, including medications and psychotherapy. In addition, new treatments are being developed all the time that prove effective in cases where other treatments have failed.

While your treatment should be tailored to best suit your symptoms and overall health, a combination of medication, psychotherapy, and lifestyle changes is often used to help alleviate symptoms of depression.

Therapy

Depending on your unique situations, you may participate in individual, group, family, or couples psychotherapy. While there are many types of therapeutic approaches, the following have been study-proven to treat depression:6 

• Behavioral activation
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy
• Interpersonal therapy
• Problem-solving therapy
• Psychodynamic therapy
• Social skills therapy
• Supportive counseling

Medications

Mainly when used in conjunction with psychotherapy, many medications have been found effective in treating depression. Again, since depression treatment is not a one-size-fits-all approach, it may take some trial and error to find the medication that alleviates your symptoms with the fewest side effects.

Lifestyle Changes

In addition to therapy and medication, some lifestyle changes can help you better manage symptoms of depression and medication side effects. Here are a few areas to focus on, but first, consult your mental health professional to find out if they are right for you.

• Diet: There’s no cure-all diet for depression, but there are certain foods that you can eat (and avoid) that play a role in mood and emotional regulation. Processed foods, alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and refined grains can hijack your mental health, while whole foods like fruits and vegetables, fish, 7 turkey, chicken, beans, nuts, and seeds can provide mood-boosting benefits.
  
• Exercise: A good workout out can help lift your mood, reduce stress, and alleviate symptoms of depression. The type of exercise you choose should be based on your fitness level, health, and preferences. Your routine can include aerobic exercise (such as jogging, swimming, cycling, brisk walking, elliptical trainer) and mind-body exercises like yoga and tai chi.
  
• Stress management: Stress can trigger depression and intensify its symptoms. Long-term habits like good nutrition, regular exercise, proper sleep, and meditation build resilience. Incorporate daily stress management techniques once you find what works for you. A support group or mental health professional can provide helpful ideas.

The Tommy Raskin Memorial Fund

The Tommy Raskin Memorial Fund for People and Animals has raised more than $1 million to be dispersed through grants to causes he cared about, his sister, Hannah, announced. Also, on Jan. 30, Tommy’s birthday was designated as an annual Good Deeds Day in his honor.

If you witness someone you love is showing signs of depression, it is your responsibility to take some positive actions regarding treatments, medication, and therapy. Although Tommy Raskin has lost his life, one preventive action can bring Tommy Raskin kind of people back into life.